Carol & Peter's Humanist Wedding at Prestonfield House

Some of the most touching ceremonies I do are those with only a handful of guests, like this evening wedding at Prestonfield House for Peter & Carol.

We wrote the ceremony together as always, but they both prepared secret readings for one other, which they gave before they exchanged their vows. It takes a lot of courage to speak at your own wedding and they did it beautifully.

Carol wrote, We would also like to take this opportunity of thanking you for conducting such a relaxed and wonderful ceremony. Everybody there commented on how special it felt. We have now come back down to earth and feel like doing it all again it was so good.

Love and Proposition 8: Keith Obermann's moving plea

"If you voted for this proposition, I have some questions for you," begins Keith Obermann on MSNBC and he goes on to say all that needs to be said about the right of gay people to marry in the USA: much of it applies here in the UK too. I recently interviewed former Bishop Richard Holloway for the next issue of 'Humanitie' magazine and he put it so simply and well - unjust laws have to be broken if we are to have justice in the world. At present, HSS celebrants can only conduct 'blessings' for people of the same sex. The society campaigned for fifteen years for the right to conduct legal, secular, humanist weddings for heterosexual couples; it's high time we put the same effort into achieving parity for all.

Deborah & Brian's Humanist Wedding at Edinburgh Castle

Every so often a large attachment hits my inbox - if I'm lucky, it's from a couple I married months before sending me some shots from their wedding. Back in freezing cold, wet January, Deborah and Brian chose to come here all the way from Cheshire and Connecticut to marry in the historic setting of Edinburgh Castle. I made the mistake of waiting on the esplanade to greet them and now I know why those army kilts are so heavy.

Sadly, Deborah's parents weren't able to be there due to illness, but Brian who understands words like 'webcast' and 'bit rate' rigged up an internet camera so they could be with us in a virtual sense.

They look great, don't they? And they're coming back to Edinburgh for their anniversary - VisitScotland should give them an award!

Jane & David's Humanist Wedding in the garden of Haddington House

One of the things that surprises me most about the ceremonies I have the privilege of conducting is that they are all genuinely unique. Every couple's journey is different and they way in which they tell their story is too. Jane and David's approach was intimate, open and honest and they chose a lovely spot, where we were surrounded by apple trees.

Sadly Jane's brother Michael and his family live in Australia and couldn't be there, but he sent a wonderful letter and two very thoughful presents that made us all laugh...




As you can see in these shots taken by Jane's nephew Cameron. My thanks to David's friend Gary Eunson for the first shot on this page; he doesn't generally do weddings, but he's a wonderful landscape and wildlife photographer and his site is well worth a visit

Face to Faith - Making Everyone Feel Welcome

Humanist weddings are non-religious but they're not anti-religious and I believe it's important that everyone feels welcome. It's a subject that comes up fairly often when I meet people for the first time and although many couples have no interest in religion themselves, I always ask them about their friends and relatives so if they are religious, we can make time to welcome and include them and respect their beliefs.

Victoria & John handled this delicate issue very sensitively in their ceremony at Dundas Castle earlier this year, and this is the form of words that they used.

"I mentioned at the start that this is not a religious service. However, many of you here today may have your own beliefs, and John and Victoria wish to acknowledge these during the ceremony. We will now take a moment to allow any of you to silently add your own thoughts, wishes, blessings or prayers to the happy couple."

I always give people copies of our leaflet 'Sharing the Future' to pass on to relatives or friends who've never heard about Humanism. If you'd like a copy you can download one from our web site by clicking here.

My thanks for the photograph to Mairi & Neill of Neil Fordyce Photography

How much does a Humanist Wedding cost?

I suppose one answer to this question might be "much less that the dress" but it's an important question, so I'll be serious for once.

I've just spent a merry couple of hours trying to find out if there's a standard cost for a non-religious wedding in Scotland and I've come to the conclusion that there really isn't one. It's true that you can be married during the working week by a Registrar in a civil ceremony at a Registry Office for £107.00, including the cost of a copy of your marriage certificate, but - if you want to marry somewhere else or at the weekend, for example - the variables start to kick in; the cost of a temporary licence for the venue perhaps, or additional fees to the Registrar, all of which you can read about on their web site, although it doesn't go into detail about the costs.

One of the many advantages of a Humanist Wedding is that the cost is straightforward. All celebrants of the Humanist Society of Scotland charge the same fee of £250.00 wherever and whenever the wedding takes place. Our only additional charges are for travel, for which we charge £0.50 per mile and £30.00 for a rehearsal, which is optional and not always necessary. You can find more information about our costs and the way in which we all work at the HSS website here.

Sarah & Robert's Humanist Wedding at Linlithgow Palace

I love this shot of the vault at Linlithgow Palace; a now roofless masterpiece of mediaeval architecture, (deliberately set on fire by Butcher Cumberland en route to Culloden) it was a very atmospheric setting for Robert & Sarah's wedding.

Robert & Sarah's story was very romantic. When they were only in their teens, they both worked in the same supermarket after school. Robert even used to check to the schedules to find out what shifts Sarah was working, but they didn't actually get together for another 12 years.

They each wrote part of their vows in secret and read them out to one another on the day - this was very moving and really heightened the emotional tension, well captured in these shots by Kate Chandler and Callum Bennetts.

Juliet and I have worked out about eight different ways in which people can say their vows, but I think this is my favourite. It's often the first time the couples' voices have been heard during the ceremony and no matter how quietly they speak, everyone can hear how they feel, which is really what we're all there for.