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Wallace, Mary
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Location: Doune Region: East of Scotland Covering areas: Central region, Perthshire, Stirling and Alloa Phone: 01786 842239 Mobile: 07968 666432 Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it About MeMy background and experience I have been a Celebrant of the Humanist Society of Scotland since 1999 and an authorised legal Wedding Celebrant since 2005. I am also Training Manager for the Society and run training courses for funeral, wedding and naming Celebrants. Prior to becoming a Humanist Celebrant I was a University Lecturer, but this work is undoubtedly the most enjoyable and rewarding work I have ever done. I am married with two children and my hobbies include reading, yoga, horse riding and dog walking. What humanism means to me For me, humanism isn't just about not believing in god - it is also about believing in a lot of positive things and about living a good and ethical life. Respecting the world in which we live and respecting every individual regardless of who they are or what they believe is an important part of my humanism. So for me, it is about the things we have in common as human beings and the things that bring us together in life, rather than the things that divide us. FuneralsHow I feel about being a funeral celebrant Conducting funerals is by far the most important work I have ever done. Helping families to say goodbye, but also to celebrate the life of their loved one, is an amazing privilege and I feel honoured to be asked to do so. My approach to funerals I feel that my role, in helping you to plan the ceremony,is to listen, to empathise and to respond to your needs as a family. As well as coming to terms with the sadness of your loss, it is also important to focus on your happy memories too. The funeral is an opportunity to reflect on both of these things and my job is to pay tribute to your loved one on your behalf so that the ceremony becomes a celebration of their life. What I find most rewarding about conducting funerals Helping you to grieve and to say goodbye in a way to that feels right for you, as well as enabling you to focus on the things about your loved one that make you smile. This for me is what funerals are all about and the following words from a poem by an unknown author express this well: “you can shed tears that she is gone or you can smile because she has lived” Our ceremonies are unique, sincere and meaningful, connecting with everyone regardless of their individual beliefs. Because we concentrate on life of person who has died, it means that almost everyone will find comfort in a humanist ceremony. My advice to you The period before the funeral can feel strange, as if you’re in limbo and it’s important to ‘go with the flow’ in terms of the emotions you’re feeling. It is also vital to have the funeral you really want for your loved one – you only get one chance to say a formal goodbye, so make sure that it’s the right one for you and for them. And never hesitate to ask your Celebrant for guidance (whether it’s a major issue or a minor one) – we’re here to help! My favourite piece of funeral poetry There is so much to choose from! I often leave a poetry collection with families so that they can make their own choice. But personally (and in the right circumstances), I love the simplicity of words such as the following, by an unknown author: "I am not gone I am in hearts and bodies of my children, I am in the raising of my children and my children’s children, I am in their laughter and in their eyes, Following a life long pattern I have set before them, I am in their caring and in their strength, I am in the minds of everyone that has known me, So search your hearts for good memories, And then you will know I am not gone" My favourite piece of funeral music The only criteria for me is what feels right for you as a family and it’s useful to think about what your loved one enjoyed listening to and which pieces of music bring back happy memories. I usually advise choosing something upbeat and cheery for the end of the ceremony because I feel that it is important for people to leave a funeral feeling uplifted. I’ve had everything from ‘Spring’ from the Four Seasons; to Dean Martin’s ‘Memories’; Jimmy Shand’s, ‘The Northern Lights of Old Aberdeen’; The Pogues, ‘Wild Rover’; and Kylie Minogue’s, ‘Can’t Get you out of my Head’! Clearly, these would not be everyone’s choice and for me, the only thing that’s important is that it feels right for you! NamingsHow I feel about being a naming Celebrant I love conducting naming ceremonies! As a mum myself, I know how much joy children can bring and it is a great privilege and a real pleasure to be able to help families to celebrate the arrival of a new baby into the world. My approach to namings It is very important to meet with you as a family to get to know you (and the wee one(s)!) so that I can help to make the ceremony really personal. My job is to talk through the options with you, so that you can decide how you would like to celebrate. I can help in all sorts of ways by giving advice about choosing poetry and music, about the role of any guide parents (the non-religious equivalent of god parents) and about any symbolic gestures you might want to include (examples could be lighting a candle, planting a tree or signing a naming certificate). I always draft the ceremony for you so that you can make amendments to it and most couples find this a lot easier than attempting to write their own ceremony! What I love most about conducting namings I love the fact that they are all so different! I really enjoy being part of such a happy occasion and being able to put so many feelings of love and joy into words on your behalf. My advice to you Don’t worry too much about the practicalities – just enjoy your special day! My favourite piece of poetry for namings There are so many lovely poems and I feel that it’s important for you to choose something that is meaningful to you. I almost always leave a collection of poetry with each family so that they can make their own choice. The simplicity of the following words really appeal to me though: “There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings” (Hodding Carter, Jr) My favourite piece of music for namings Anything where everyone can join in to sing together and have a good laugh! Nothing can beat the simplicity of children’s songs, such as, “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands”. Everyone knows the tune and the words (more or less anyway!), it doesn’t need any musical accompaniment and it never fails to get everyone laughing! At the end of the day though, the only important thing about music for the ceremony is that you like it! Same Sex AffirmationsHow I feel about being a Celebrant for same sex affirmation ceremonies My favourite piece of music for affirmation ceremonies WeddingsHow I feel about being a wedding Celebrant My most unusual location for a wedding to date
For more information and tips about arranging your humanist wedding, go to my wedding blog at: http://humanistweddingsbymary.blogspot.com/
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