Stewart, Gillian

My background and experience   
I’ve been a humanist celebrant with the Society since the Spring of 2005 and a registered wedding celebrant since April 2006. My background is in Nursery Nursing and I’ve also worked with children and their families at Rachel House Children’s Hospice in Kinross. Similarly to my work there, I find my celebrant work to be extremely rewarding. I’m happily married and my hobbies include gardening, socialising and belly dancing!

What humanism means to me     
For me humanism is really about being human. By that I mean treating others in the way that I would like to be treated and respecting individuals and their opinions.

How I feel about being a funeral celebrant 

I consider my role as a funeral celebrant to be a very rewarding one. It is an honour for me to be asked to tell the story of the life of a loved one on behalf of the family, and I am always amazed to hear of the interesting, and often challenging, lives that people have led. If I can make even a small but positive difference to a family at a time when they are at their most vulnerable, then I am glad to be able to help.

My approach to funerals  

I always spend plenty of time with the family so that I can build up a good picture of the person whose story I will be telling. I will always ask to see a photograph too, which helps me to visualise the person when I am writing their tribute. I then email a copy of the tribute to the family so that they can be sure that I have all the details correct and so that they can add or change anything.

What I find most rewarding about conducting funerals

I find writing a tribute that accurately reflects the character and personality of the deceased, to be both the most challenging and most rewarding aspect of conducting funeral. Those attending the funeral must be able to recognise the person they have loved and lost from the story being told about their life, and to have the opportunity to celebrate their life in a meaningful way.

My advice to you

If you want to organise a Humanist funeral, make your wishes clear to the Funeral Director who is organising the ceremony. I am also happy to be contacted at home directly by the family. Another thing to bear in mind is that all Crematoria have a limited amount of time allocated to each funeral ceremony, and if you think that there will be a large number of people attending, or that there will be family members of friends who would like to speak during the ceremony, be aware that you can ask for a double slot so that you will have plenty of time and won't feel rushed.

My favourite piece of funeral poetry

It is actually prose, not poetry, but to me this adapted piece from Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh is particlualry appropriate as it akcnowledges the loss while recognising that life goes on;

"We should not speak of our love in the past tense. Love is a thing that does not fade in a faithful heart...Our love cannot be dead because a person has died. If that is true, our life must be a continuation of theirs, with all its significance. We must reflect on all that was beauty and nobility in that person and make sure those around us and our surroundings do not lose anything through the death...so that the seed that has fallen into the earth may give a hundred fold harvest in the hearts and lives of others."

My favourite piece of funeral music

I love 'Highland Cathedral' played on the pipes, it is such a beautiful and haunting piece of Scottish music. I also really like classical music at funerals and 'Cavalleria Rusticana 'Intermezzo' by Mascagni is so powerful as it stirs your emotions.

How I feel about being a naming celebrant

Having worked with children for many years, I love having the opportunity to prepare a naming ceremony. Children are our future and it's important to mark their arrival into a family, no matter what their age or the circumstances.

My approach to namings

As with all my ceremonies, I spend time with the family so that I have a clear idea of the kind of ceremony that they want to have; Whether the focus will be on welcoming the child or naming them, whether there will be guideparents or other significant adults in the childs life and any promises or commitments that the parents will be making toward their son or daughter.

What I love most about conducting namings

They are just so much fun! It is such a happy and joyful occasion that gives everyone the chance to celebrate a really special thing - life.

My advice to you

Naming ceremonies can actually offer a variety of ways in which to celebrate a child's life, and it helps if you have a clear idea about the kind of celebration that you want. For example, do you want to focus on welcoming your child into your circle of family and friends or on the actual naming itself, or both! If you are unsure about whether a naming ceremony would be right for you, I would be more than happy to spend some time discussing this with you and offering you ideas and advice so that you can reach a more informed decision.

 My favourite piece of poetry for namings

This piece by Kenneth L. Patton from 'This World, My Home'. Although I haven't had the chance to use it yet I'm always hopeful! To me this is what being human is al; about and I find it sad that we often forget these simple things as we grow older.

"Nothing is strange to a child for whom everything is new.
Where all things are new nothing is novel.                 
The child does not yet know what belongs and what does not; therefore for him all things belong.                     
The ear of a child is open to all music.  
His eyes are open to all arts.                          
His mind is open to all tongues.                        
His being is open to all manners.                       
In the child's country there are no foreigners."

My favourite piece of music for namings

There are so many, but I think that the Ramones version of "Baby I love you" is just perfect! Especially the lines - "I can't live without you, I love everything about you, I can't help it if I feel this way". Sentiments that I'm sure are shared by many parents.

How I feel about being a celebrant for same sex affirmation ceremonies
The same as I do for legal weddings. Whether it is a man and woman, two men or two women who are celebrating their love for one another, they all have the right to do so in a way that is meaningful for them. Unfortunately we still cannot perform a legal civil ceremony but I sincerely hope that this will change in the future and that everyone will  be given the opportunity to have the kind of ceremony that they want.

My approach to affirmation ceremonies
I will always meet with the couple to discuss their ceremony, and offer them help and advice on music, poetry and readings. Unless the couple want to write the ceremony themselves, I will draft one for them which they can then add to and adapt in order to create a ceremony that is right for them. One that will be both unique and memorable.

What I love most about conducting affirmation ceremonies
I have been lucky enough to conduct several affirmation ceremonies in the past, and they have all, without exception, been wonderfully warm occasions. There has always been a lot of humour and laughter too, while appreciating the seriousness of the promises being made by the couple.

My advice to you
Be clear about what you want from your ceremony, and don't be afraid to ask. After all it is your day so, above all, enjoy it!

My favourite piece of poetry for affirmation ceremonies
Although I've never used it yet, I really like this piece by Fred Yerby, it's so passionate;
"You are a part of me. I do not know
By what slow chemistry you first became
A vital fibre of my being. Go
Beyond the rim of time or space, the same
Inflections of your voice will sing their way
Into the depths of my mind still. Your hair
Will gleam as bright, the artless play
Of word or glance, gesture and the fair
Young fingers waving, have too deeply etched
The pattern of your soul on mine. Forget
Me quickly as a laughing picture sketched
On water, I shall never know regret
Knowing no magic can set free
That part of you that is a part of me."

My favourite piece of music for affirmation ceremonies
One of the couples whose affirmation ceremony I conducted made up a CD of their favourite music. All of the tracks on it are wonderful, but the one that gives me shivers every time I hear it is Queen's "I was born to love you". To me Freddy just says it all, soo beautifully, just have a look at the lyrics..