About Me
My background and experience
I became a celebrant after my husband Tim (also a celebrant) and I were married by Ivan Middleton. We were so touched by the Humanist ceremony and Humanism in general that we wanted to play a part in it. I have been conducting Humanist ceremonies since October 2005 and I find all aspects of this work incredibly rewarding.
What humanism means to me
In short, it is about the things that bring us together rather than those that divide us. Humanists respect others and treat them equally no matter what race, creed, colour, gender age or sexuality they are. We treat this life as the only one we have and take responsibility for our actions in it. All these aspects of humanism are important to me.
Funerals
My approach to funerals
Conducting funeral ceremonies is probably the most inspiring and rewarding work I do. I spend as much time with the family before the service as needed to get a rounded view of their loved one’s life. I also sometimes call friends and work colleagues so that they can add their thoughts.
A funeral is a sad occasion, but in our ceremonies we create an opportunity to celebrate a person’s life as well as to mourn their death. I try to help the family make the ceremony as personal as possible to the person it is all about.
Namings
My approach to Namings
Naming ceremonies are an opportunity to welcome a child into the world and for the parents to share their thoughts and feelings with their family and friends about the role they will play in its upbringing. I encourage the family to get involved in the ceremony as much as possible and help them to explain why they have picked Guide Parents and other people to take an important role in their child’s life.
Same Sex Affirmations
My approach to same sex affirmations
I have only conducted one same sex affirmation so far. It was the loveliest ceremony and the couple put a great deal of effort into making it very personal.
It was a civil partnership and the registrar came along to do the legalities and I did the rest of the ceremony. My approach is exactly the same as for weddings – the ceremony is tailored to suit the couple’s personalities.
Weddings
My approach to weddings
Being part of such an important day is a joy and a privilege and reminds me constantly of how important love is. I am there through the process as much or little as the couple want me to be.
I try to encourage couples to make the ceremony as personal to them as possible. I like to meet them early on in the process and keep in touch, often meeting again along the way to see how things are going. I have also arranged wedding ceremonies for people living abroad who I won’t meet until the big day and have managed this by phone and e-mail.
I always remind couples that apart from the legal requirements and the ceremony being secular and Humanist that there are no rules. Some people want a very formal ceremony and some prefer a more relaxed approach. My aim is to encourage and help them create what they will enjoy most on the day.
What I love most about conducting weddings
Seeing a Groom joking with his best man one minute and then crying with love as he sees his bride walking down the aisle.
Watching a couple look into each other’s eyes, brimming with love as they say their vows that they have created themselves.
The diversity of the weddings I get to do and the different couples.
The fact that a low budget homespun wedding can be just as lovely as a big budget one.
Pronouncing the couple to be Husband and Wife at the end!
My advice to you
Enjoy it because it is over so quickly.
It doesn’t matter if it rains.
Have the kind of wedding you want, not the wedding you think is expected of you.
Make every part of your day as personal as possible and involve your friends and family as much as you can – they will appreciate it.
If you get stressed about the wedding, try to remember why you decided to get married in the first place!
My favourite piece of wedding poetry
There is such a wide range but for me poetry and readings work best when the style of the piece matches the reader’s personality. So if someone doing a reading is humorous, giving him something funny to read comes across best and is all the more poignant for it. The same applies if a reader has a romantic or serious personality.
That said, this is one of my personal favourites by the late comedian and poet Hovis Presley:
I rely on you
like a Skoda needs suspension
like the aged need a pension
like a trampoline needs tension
like a bungee jump needs apprehension
I rely on you
like a camera needs a shutter
like a gambler needs a flutter
like a golfer needs a putter
like a buttered scone involves some butter
I rely on you
like an acrobat needs ice cool nerve
like a hairpin needs a drastic curve
like an HGV needs endless derv
like an outside left needs a body swerve
I rely on you
like a handyman needs pliers
like an auctioneer needs buyers
like a laundromat needs driers
like The Good Life needed Richard Briers
I rely on you
like a water vole needs water
like a brick outhouse needs mortar
like a lemming to the slaughter
Ryan's just Ryan without his daughter
I rely on you
My favourite piece of wedding music
Once again anything goes as long as it is something the couple really loves.
My most unusual location for a wedding to date
Probably my first wedding, which was on a very windy beach at Belhaven Bay.
The bride made her entrance to Queen’s Don’t Stop me Now. When I asked the Groom if we would be fading Queen out when she was in position, he replied, “NOBODY fades out Queen!”
I’ve had Queen played at several weddings since and he was right: nobody ever fades out Queen.
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