Smith, Gary

My background and experience
I have been a Celebrant with the Humanist Society of Scotland since 2006 and since 2007 an authorised legal Wedding Celebrant. I work full time as a scientist with a cancer research company in Dundee. My Celebrant work is so special to me and I find it rewarding and uplifting. I am married with two grown up lads. My hobbies include writing, tennis, keeping fit and all things high-tech. 

What humanism means to me
Humanism to me is about living a happy life, a life that is not controlled by a supernatural entitity (yes, I mean gods or spirits). It is also about respecting the world, the individual and of course yourself. For me, it is about the things that make us human beings and the things that bring us together in life, rather than the things that divide us.

My outlook on life

I love what I do and I have been told this comes across in all my ceremonies. One family I have been invloved with through a funeral, a wedding and a naming ceremony call me the "Happy Humanist".  
 

My approach to Funerals
I joined the society to conduct funerals. I felt strongly that families were being let down in my area by the lack of available celebrants and an understanding of what Humanism is. It has been a rewarding few years as I have helped many families through the difficult times following the death of a loved one. It is a privilege to celebrate a person's life and if I can help the families capture their loved one’s life in my tribute then I feel I have helped them in some small way.

What I find most rewarding about conducting funerals
If there is any reward it is being a small part in helping my fellow man/woman in dealing with the death of their loved ones. 

My advice to you
Be there for each other. Talk and share you memories. If we meet then it can help if you write some words down beforehand, gather around family members and friends and above all else take time yourself to remember your loved one.

My favourite piece of funeral poetry
As a society we have gathered together a great collection of poetry for all tastes. Sometimes families have there own favourites poems or prose or words from special songs. I will help guide you through the process of finding something fitting.

My favourite piece of funeral music
Like poetry music is a personal taste. I am always warmed by how some peoples lives are inextricably linked to music. I will help pick the music to fit the ceremony. Crematoria will provide an organist if you wish. The Funeral Director is the one who will arrange this.

What people have said about my ceremonies
To me the only important thing is that I have helped the families. They are the ones who create the tributes. I only write and say the words.

How I feel about being a celebrant for same sex affirmation ceremonies
The same as I do for legal weddings. A celebration of love between two people is such a basic right and it should be meaningful for them. As I write we still cannot perform a legal civil ceremony but it is my hope that this will change in the future. Everyone deserves to have the opportunity to have the ceremony they want.

My approach to affirmation ceremonies
As with all my ceremonies I take the inclusive approach. I work hard to create the ceremonies but always with the involvement of the couple. I strive to make each one memorable.

What I love most about conducting affirmation ceremonies
As yet I  have not been lucky enough to conduct an affirmation ceremony but my colleagues have always said they are wonderfully warm occasions. Maybe one day.

My advice to you
Be clear about what you want from your ceremony, and don't be afraid to ask. After all it is your day so, above all, enjoy it!

My favourite piece of poetry for affirmation ceremonies
Although I've never used it yet, I really like this piece by Fred Yerby, it's so passionate;
"You are a part of me. I do not know
By what slow chemistry you first became
A vital fibre of my being. Go
Beyond the rim of time or space, the same
Inflections of your voice will sing their way
Into the depths of my mind still. Your hair
Will gleam as bright, the artless play
Of word or glance, gesture and the fair
Young fingers waving, have too deeply etched
The pattern of your soul on mine. Forget
Me quickly as a laughing picture sketched
On water, I shall never know regret
Knowing no magic can set free
That part of you that is a part of me."

My favourite piece of music for affirmation ceremonies
I love all music therefore the music I love is the one I hear.

How I feel about being a wedding Celebrant    
To be a part of each couple’s special day is amazing. It is both uplifting and great honour to help each person, bride, groom or guest be involved in creating a ceremony that is both special and personal.

My approach to weddings    
To be respectful to each couples wishes, to take away any wedding stresses I can, and above all else help make the day as special as it can be. I also know that along the way it will be a happy unforgetable experience.

What I love most about conducting weddings    
I get to meet so many wonderful people and make a difference to the lives of the couples I marry.

My advice to you    
We are able to provide as special a ceremony as a couple want. Freedom to create a ceremony is one of our strengths. Ask yourself the question "Why are we getting married?" and from that point on the ceremony will grow. 

My favourite piece of wedding poetry    
There really are so many to choose from but the one that usually gets my big softy heart is by an unknown author:

    I love you…
    For the kindness in your eyes and the warmth in your voice,
    For the honesty of your words and the silence of your smile;
    For the ways in which we’re similar, and those in which we’re worlds apart.
    For the openness of your understanding and the acceptance of your heart;
    For the tenderness of your touch and the strength of your commitment,
    For your sense of humour and your seriousness of purpose;
    For a thousand small reasons, and one most important of all:
    Simply because you are you.
    In all of creation you are the one whom I cherish most,
    The one with whom I hope to share my life –
    Its joys, its sorrows, its accomplishments, its challenges-
    While building our dreams together and growing every day
    In the love that makes us one.

My favourite piece of wedding music    
Almost impossible to say but the skirl of the pipes or a well sung ballad can make the moment.

My most unusual location for a wedding to date    
St Andrews castle, in the kitchen ruins, a blowing gale and the wedding being snapped from afar by a bus load of international tourists. The other one was a living room with the family all gathered around. We had one the kids playing his own music on guitar at different points in the ceremony, granny read her own poem, an uncle sang, a cousin had made all the outfits, the whole family had been invloved in the catering and in the end I think they adopted me. Wonderful.