McMillan, Ken

I do not conduct funerals 

I have decided that, in order to concentrate more time and effort on weddings, that I will no longer conduct funerals.

The number of Humanist weddings in Scotland is increasing year on year.  I find that I'm spending more and more time on wedding work, which leaves less time for funerals.

Preparing a funeral takes much time and effort too, of course, and nowadays I just do not have the time to do it justice.  I'd rather leave leave funerals to those who have plenty time - and there are many experienced Celebrants out there to choose from!  

How I feel about being a wedding Celebrant     
Being a wedding celebrant is just fab! Meeting couples to help steer them through the most important day of their lives is the most satisfying and rewarding experience. It’s a tremendous responsibility for the three of us, but when all our preparations culminate in a well-crafted, relaxed ceremony, the joy on everyone’s faces is a delight!

My approach to weddings     
After the initial contact by phone or email, I normally arrange to meet couples in their home. We discuss the legal aspects of weddings, and then discuss the sort of ceremony they’d like with the help of recent examples. The couple would then either prepare a rough draft of what they’d like, or I’d prepare an outline for them to slot in their own preferences. Over the following months, I’d offer help and advice and we’d keep in touch by emailing the draft ceremony back and forth, making wee changes as appropriate until we are all completely happy with it. Then, during the week before the wedding, I’d visit you again just to go over it in detail to make sure it’s all going to go smoothly on the day.

What I love most about conducting weddings     
A wedding is such a joyous occasion and everyone is so happy. I always feel it’s a privilege to have been involved in such a jolly, although at times, formal, celebration, and to have helped the couple to have a day to remember.

My advice to you     
My advice is threefold:
1. Be organised! Start your preparations early. Make lists, keep notes, liaise with all concerned and keep on top of it all.
2. Keep in touch with your Celebrant! S/he is a mine of information and is always willing to offer help and advice on the legal bits and on the creation of a good ceremony.
3. Keep calm! Don’t leave things to the last minute!

My favourite piece of wedding poetry     
I think that the choice of poetry is a very personal one. I do, however, have a favourite piece – “My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose” by Robert Burns:

To me, it seems to underline the permanence of strong love and so is very appropriate at a wedding. At one wedding consisting of Americans, English and Scottish guests, the bridesmaid (who was very Scottish) read this beautifully. At the end, I quipped that I’d hoped our American guests had understood it and there was a ripple of laughter. Above the laughter was heard a very English voice, “Yes, but what about us English!”

My favourite piece of wedding music     
Again, a very personal choice. I think all the favourites are fine – Highland Cathedral, Pachelbel’s Canon, Entrance of the Queen of Sheba – but some couples choose more recent music. At one recent wedding, jazz was played and the joint was fairly jumping; at another, the Proclaimers belted out "Let's Get Married" - very appropriate!

My most unusual location for a wedding to date     
I’ve conducted several memorable weddings in castles, stately homes and posh hotels. The one that has stuck in my mind, though, was the one at the Falkirk Wheel. It’s a very dramatic location and a sort of symbol of modern Scottish engineering at its best. The groom, guests and I got on the wee boat at the bottom and the Wheel scooped us up to the top. The bridal party was piped on board here, and the ceremony was meticulously timed so that it just finished when the boat was deposited at the bottom next to the champagne outside the visitor centre. Fab!

Another memorable wedding was at the summit of Ben Nevis.  This was where the groom had proposed to the bride and so they wanted to be married there.  Fortunately, they found someone daft enough to walk up with them to marry them - me!  The groom, best man and I started our walk at 9.00 and took 3.5 hours to get to the top.   The bride, her dad and bridesmaid left at 9.30 and took 4.5 hours.  But the ceremony was just magical - we had some poetry, a handfasting, drinking whisky from a quaich and an exchange of gifts.  All the other walkers on the summit lingered to watch the ceremony and with the mist swirling around, the atmosphere was just the best!  Fortunately, the weather stayed dry with little wind, although it was a bit chilly at times - but the whisky helped!  Going down took about 2.5 hours and there was time for a much-needed pint in the pub before heading home.  Marvellous - I might even do it all again if asked nicely....

....and indeed, I am doing it all again as a lovely couple has asked me nicely!  Oddly, it's 2 years to the day (at the end of July 2010) since the last Ben Nevis adventure, but I'm really looking forward to the exhilaration and achievement of conducting a lovely wedding on Britain's highest peak again....

....and indeed it was exhilarating!  We had a more or less dry walk up, then it started to rain near the summit.  But undaunted, we went ahead with the ceremony and it was absolutely lovely!  My pants were wet, the ceremony script was illegible and the Marriage Schedule was smudged.  But who cares - what a wonderful experience marrying such a lovely couple on Scotland's highest peak!  And I might even do it all yet again if asked nicely....

By the way, I'd also be happy and delighted to conduct ceremonies in dry warm hotels, castles and gardens!